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Tuesday, June 12, 2018

How To Define Yourself

I ran across this article “How To Define Yourself” on Wiki-How.
 https://www.wikihow.com/Define-Yourself It's very good and I think I'll go through the steps just for a good introspective exercise. However, I no longer feel the urge to define myself. I'm not sure when it happened Defining my identity used to be a huge motivator in my life choices and the subject of many a journal entry. But now? Not so much.

When I was growing up in the 1970s a common phrase I would hear is, "I need to find myself." As a little girl, I remember thinking it a very odd thing to say and an even odder thing to pursue. I thought, "Heaven's sake, go look in the mirror!" Needless to say, as I grew into a young woman I, indeed, needed "to find myself." It's part of the angst of growing into those first years of adulthood.

My entire childhood I thought, when I am 8 years old then...When I am 10 years old then... When I am 13
years old then.. When I am 15 years old then...When II am 18 years old then... Fast forward to my
age, 52. Now I think when I was 8, 10, 13,16, and 18.


When I look back at my younger years I do not feel any different at the core of my identity. I am the
same little girl who would anxiously wait for Daddy to get home and give me the treat from
his lunch box.  I’m still the doe-eyed teenager in love with the first boy I kissed.
(I married him by the way.) I haven’t really changed.


Oh, I know there have been new roles that have come and gone in my life.  Different titles
to put after my name during certain stages of living. There have been hard lessons learned,
pain, loss, and suffering.  There have been moments of awe, joy, peace, and elation that taught
me even better lessons. No doubt, I have been shaped by the years of my life but somehow
at the very center of me is, well, me.  I’m right here. I guess I found myself.


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