From My Journal October 2, 2012

Journal Entry - October 2, 2012

I actually tried to commit suicide.  This illness has completely overtaken my life.  

In July I had reached critical mass and it all crashed in.  I’m climbing out of the abyss,

slowly but steadily. I’m working very hard...very hard.  This is the most difficult thing

I have ever done. It’s frustrating to me that people who know me best, now see me in

such a negative light.

I used to be:

(List not included)

Now I am no longer those things. I am no longer her.  I haven’t been her for a long

time. That is NOT my identity now.  I hear from people or feel the expectation of

others they want that person back.  Well that person is gone. Truth is I miss her too.

But she was just a construct.  I am me and I am right here.

A new way of living will be built, but it will be a temporary construct as well.  

That is how life should always be.